VALHALLA

- SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE VALHALLA -

Dear Friends:

It is with a broken heart that I find myself so soon after my beloved Ragnar's death writing you again. On Monday evening September 19, 2005 while on our family walk my beautiful Valhalla was hit by the neighbor's pick-up and killed instantly. As many of you know we live out in the country nestled in the Black Hills. Our road has virtually no traffic and so we had deemed it safe to walk on these past three years. Valhalla was only 4 months old and was to begin her formal training with a local expert in November. Just days before the accident she had begun to display a teenager 'know it all' attitude that while irritating I never dreamed would prove fatal. She would run off a bit when I called her and try to tease me by not coming upon command. I knew that this was a phase and that the trainer and I would set her straight in just a few weeks. That horrible evening we left for our walk about 10 minutes late and by the time of the accident it had transformed from evening to night. That was when the neighbor turned down the road with his headlights on. He must have seen us, myself my wife and two of our little girls, on the road. We immediately moved off the road and up into the adjacent field. I sensed that Valhalla would not listen so I ran further into the grass well away from the road calling her to me. She came near me and I tried to grab her twice but she dodged away then ran off about half way toward the road, stopped looked at me and then turned around and fatally ran down to the headlights. I screamed her name as loud as I could but she did not even slow. In an instant I was down in the road cradling her smashed body. The driver stepped out and mumbled a 'sorry' the kind you mutter when you bump into some in line at the theater. I was hysterical. I have never known such intense pain and sense of loss. It was as though every loss in my entire life dead grandparents & parents, lost loves, and shattered dreams all have come together and struck me down. I carried her broken bloody and lifeless body home while the driver drove off to do his evening business without a care in the world. (Two days later a rather lame sympathy card arrived.) My wife ran ahead with the little girls crying all the way home to get the car and bring us home. I made it most of the way back to the house before I finally collapsed to the ground exhausted covered in blood and emotionally devastated. I'm not ashamed to admit it when the shock wore off I've cried like a baby.

It is now two weeks later and the pain and deep sense of loss is still there. When Ragnar died I knew it was coming and while I thought he still had a few good years left he at least had a good and full life. So, tragic and painful as it was it was understandable and bearable. But my beautiful little Valhalla was so full of life and energy. She was the light of my day! Yes, even with nine young children I still have need of mans best friend for companionship. Ever since I was six years old I have had a dog. In my screwed up alcoholic family my dog Taxi was my best friend and companion. He always was understanding and full of love. Even though he was completely untrained and ran away often especially at night he filled a huge void my young life. Ever since then dogs have been a major part of my life bringing lots of joy and love into my heart. No I haven't always appreciated their gift fully and yes I have taken them for granted often. And I have even resented having to clean up after them or replace things that they chewed up or to take them out in the rain. But I always loved them and I know that they knew it. And now Valhalla is gone to the other side with Ragnar and the others waiting for me to join them.

I know many people do not and will not want to understand but true animal lovers know that there is a part of you, a void, that can only be filled by the love and companionship of our pets. For me it is a great void. When I drive up to our house now it seems empty and dead. The porch is vacant without Ragnar on guard duty and the backyard is lifeless without that happy smile of Valhalla looking out from her kennel eager to come out and play. She had never seen grass, being born in the desert of Arizona, before coming to us so when I got her home she snuggled up in our pitiful little patch of green grass then rolled and rolled in total delight. She never stopped playing in it. She was the only dog I ever had that was smart enough to go into her dog house when it was raining. If she had lived I know she would have been a great dog. I didn't want a killer I wanted and got a sweet family guard dog and I had planned to breed her in two years. In fact, I had seen the ad for black pure bred German shepherds two years ago so I knew that was the dog for me. She was the first dog I ever made long term future plans with and the first that I ever thought that I had done everything for her. I got the best breeding and correct personality then the best large breed puppy food, the best animal vitamins, health insurance (we don't have any), kennel, dog trainer, and I made time for her everyday to play and train her. And now she is no more and it is my fault because I failed to stop her and protect her and she paid the ultimate price.

Just a couple of days before the accident we did a photo shoot with Valhalla and myself as our new company mascot for our next CD Blitzkrieg. I decided to hell with political correctness and wore my SS Panzer M43 cap. I hadn't with Ragnar like the Bible says "For fear of the Jews." This will be her CD she is only about half grown and because of her beautiful black fur it is difficult to make out all of her details but her big pink tongue is hanging out and she was very excited about taking the photos as you can tell from her sparkling eyes. Now I must concentrate on the short time I had with her and remember the many happy and fun times we had together this past summer, instead of those last nightmarish 10 seconds. As our friends and PzG supporters I needed to share this unhappy news with you as I know you would want to know.

Michael Kelly
President PzG Inc.